Take Your Time
I don’t know about you but for most of my adult live I’ve heard anyone at least a decade older than me say, “enjoy this time,” “take this all in, you’ll never get this back.” I never really took it to heart, but I appreciated the sentiment. Honestly, how do you even fathom something like that, especially before you have kids or before you’re married. Both of those moments in life are so momentous, so life-altering. It’s so different from your life before. My wife and I always say that we have no clue what life was like before we had kids. We couldn’t imagine a life without them. It feels like they’ve always been with us. How can you look ahead to something like this and prepare for it?
They’re right though. The moments with kids go by so fast. And a lot of the days we’re just trying to survive and get to bedtime. Especially with little kids, this is the reality of each day. It can be really easy for us as parents to get caught up in this rhythm and make it our mindset each and every day. I know, I’ve been there. But sometimes the day ends with an empty feeling. A feeling like you just spent the entire day trying to get through it, rather than cherishing each and every moment for what it is.
Something that occurred to me not that long ago–whether it was a lightbulb moment, someone much wiser than me said it, or I heard it from a podcast or something–was this idea that I’m going to wake up one day, in my 40s, 50s and miss these moments. And that thought hit me like Aaron Donald stunting through the A-gap in a 0-technique, and I’m the center. Wow what a revelation. It was one of those moments that changes you, from just a thought in your head. And I’m guessing maybe even you have experienced an epiphany like this. The realization that one day I won’t be able to hold my daughter in the middle of the night, or feel the warmth from my son laying in bed with my wife and I because he couldn’t sleep in his crib. My wife and I are starting to potty train our daughter and I didn’t think I’d ever miss diapers, but the thought of not being able to change my kid’s diaper because they’re growing up made me well up with tears.
All of this brought to mind the 1970s classic by Cat Stevens, “Father and Son.” I remember hearing this song when my wife was pregnant with our first. It was the first time I ever considered time when my kids were older, grown up. Even before they were born. It gave me a pit in my stomach. Already sad that my baby in utero will grow up one day. Cat takes a visceral perspective on this, he says:
“And take your time, think a lot
Think of everything you've got
For you will still be here tomorrow
But your dreams may not”
“Take your time, think a lot,” you don’t hear much of this sentiment from music today. Music then had so much soul and wisdom. And I had probably heard that song a million times before, but it was that one time when I first found out that I was going to be a dad that this line finally made sense.
God works in interesting ways like that. He changes you and does so continually for the rest of your life. The Book of Ezekiel says, “And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” (Ezekiel 36:26). God is working within us and changing us through every season and stage of life. God created childbirth, just as he created marriage, the mountains and the seas. One of his first commands to humanity was to “[B]e fruitful and multiply and fill the earth” (Genesis 1:28). When you live in His design, you’ll feel different, you’ll be changed. Because the God of the universe is working within you to mold you into the person He intended for you to become since the beginning of time. As Paul says in Philippians, “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”
As dads, we are to enjoy our children, as the gifts from God that they are. It is a form of worship to look at our children and to thank God for this wonderful gift. One day they are going to want to spend time with their friends, then they’ll move out, and start families of their own. Right now is such a precious time and it requires the most attention. I want to challenge all of us, including myself, to focus on the moments we won’t ever get back. The times when you’re on the floor playing with your kids, driving in the car with them singing the ABCs, swinging at the park. Take your time, and think a lot about those moments. About who God is and the beautiful gift of creation. About your children and the moments that you’ll cherish one day when they are all grown up. Let us humble ourselves so that God can do those good works within us, to help us see what is right in front of us.
