The Ultimate Sacrifice
I was reading Timothy Keller’s, The Reason for God, and, like most of his work, a certain section stood out to me. It’s the concept of an individualistic society and pluralistic one that he analogizes with marriage and divorce. Keller states that,
“If you think marriage is mainly for the rearing of children to benefit the whole society, then you will make divorce very difficult. If you think the purpose of marriage is more primarily for the happiness and emotional fulfillment of the adults who enter it, you will make divorce much easier.” (p. 18)
What Tim Keller is trying to evoke to us is not that we should seek out robotic-like, arranged marriages of sorts; rather, we should seek out the love of our lives and love them like Christ loved the church. In his letter to the Ephesians, the Apostle Paul writes, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). We should seek out our soulmate, but then prepare ourselves to give everything to them. Before this verse, Paul writes about the submission of the wife to the husband, but not in the patriarchal sense. Paul asks both husband and wife to sacrifice something of themselves to the other. This is what Keller is getting at. We should want to, and desire to, sacrifice ourselves to our family that we love more than anything else.
And this is something that most of us have either heard, or may even believe deep down is true. But if you’re like me, you need these reminders. Too often I get caught up in the distractions of this world and seek out my own wants and needs before I seek out my family’s. I believe Satan uses this tactic most against men. Slowly and systematically removing from us the true desires of our hearts: our wives, kids and Jesus. Then, fill that space with selfish ones. I’m reminded that we need to continuously fight back against the enemy and his plans, looking to the Holy Spirit for wisdom, and other men around us to learn from, to be encouraged by and to be kept accountable.
The clip below is from the John Krasinski directed film, A Quiet Place. In this scene, Lee Abbott makes the ultimate sacrifice to save his family. This is an extreme example. But I don’t know about you, this gives me chills every time I see it. Especially now that I have a family of my own. I know if I were in his place I wouldn’t hesitate or think twice about making the same sacrifice.
Even though we aren’t making that decision to jump in the way of a flesh eating extra-terrestrial to save our family, we are called to make the same sacrifice as Lee. We are called to lay down our lives for our families daily through other means. Going back to what Keller said about marriage and divorce, if we go into it for our own selfish desires, it will not flourish and that relationship will slowly die. instead, we are to die to ourselves so that our marriage and family can live and thrive.
I want to end this by saying that I am nowhere near to the level of sacrifice that I would like to be at. I constantly find myself in situations where I’m irritated or my wife is stressed and my kids are upset all because of my own selfishness. But I know that I have a God and a community of men who love and support me. The Holy Spirit and my community who rightfully convict me and also build me up with encouragement. It is something we all need. I pray that you too can find time to listen to the Holy Spirit and see how He is shaping and transforming you. Also that you have a community of men who can do the same for you. I hope that Generational Dads can at least provide you with what you need to feel like you are a good dad and that you are doing a good job. Mark Driscoll in his podcast titled, Lessons Every Father Needs to Know, says all that you have to do to be a good dad is to want to be a good dad. That’s our goal each and every day. We’re not perfect, nor will we ever be. But, we can strive every day to want to be a good dad.
A Quiet Place. Directed by John Krasinski, Paramount Pictures, 2018.
Keller, Timothy. The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism. New York, Penguin, 2016.
