Be a Man
What is masculinity? What does it mean to be a father, husband or a man in general? It actually almost feels like a bad word to say, “masculinity.” Do you feel the same way as I do? If so, what does that tell us about our current cultural climate and how we view men? I get this sense that we’re being asked (or forced) to bow the knee to what society is asking of us and consequently become weak, purposeless men. This may be a harsh critique. But, it’s not hard to see in the media, in academia or in society the silent molding of men into a version that fits that cultural narrative. So, are we supposed to submit to this? Is this just the new standard of man? Just like most matters that are brought up today, the Bible and the Way of Jesus provides us with timeless wisdom that is applicable to our lives here and now.
According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, men are committing suicide at a rate four times higher than women (cdc.gov). I think it’s important to ask why that is. Unfortunately, this is a problem that isn’t recognized with the attention it requires. At what point do men hit this point of no return? The numbers are not anomalies. There is something happening in men on a large scale that is causing this problem. And I’m not a doctor or necessarily qualified to make assessments on the matter, but my opinion is that this problem starts early: boys are not being formed into men in an intentional and effective way, and grown men are not living into their God-given purpose. There are two amazing men doing great work in both of these areas: Jon Tyson and his work with the Primal Path and John Eldredge and his Wild at Heart ministry. Tyson’s work is focused on a multi-year journey where the father intentionally spends time and effort on his son’s formation in the adolescent years. Wild at Heart looks deep into the heart of a man and attempts to draw out the real man and his purpose. If you haven’t, please take a look at these resources as they apply to you.
The Bible also has a lot to say about what a godly man is and the purpose in which they live. And, there are a number of verses that describe what a godly man is. I chose a few that I really like and believe sum up what a godly man is as it pertains to the principles of the Bible and the life of Jesus:
Micah 6:8:
“He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”
Do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with God.
1 Corinthians 16:13-14
“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.”
You can see a pattern here. There’s a balance: worship God and live in His design, be strong and love others. This balance is important because the pendulum can swing too far in either direction. If you focus only on love then what happens when there’s injustice around you that requires you to step up and stand up for others? And, what happens when you need to make difficult decisions? On the flip side, if you only focus on being a strong and “manly” man then you risk becoming obtuse and emotionally distant from those around you.
Jesus is the ultimate embodiment of what a good man is. He calms a storm in the midst of His followers (who are grown men by the way) panicking and crying out for help in fear (Matthew 8:23-27). He goes right up to demon-possessed men and heals them (Matthew 8:28-34), and battles with the devil face to face (Matthew 4:1-11). Jesus also tells the children to come to him and that we should be like them (Matthew 18 and 19). He also says to love your enemies (Matthew 5:44). This is why even today Jesus’s teachings are relevant and fresh. He threw everything upside down and taught things that are, and still are, contrary to the world. He modeled a perfect balance of strength and love.
As men, and especially as dads and husbands, living a life of strength and love is essential to our daily walk. We need to be strong enough mentally to go to work everyday, and take responsibility and lead our families well, even when we may be scared of failing; we also need to practice love and connect with our children and wife, laying ourselves down for them (Ephesians 5:25). And ultimately we need to seek God and His righteousness every single day (Matthew 6:33).
But this is no easy task. We’re going to fail at times, and in those moments we need to repent and ask God to give us wisdom and to renew our minds (Romans 12:2). It’s important to note that we’re not necessarily seeking perfection here, but we want to strive for something great. And we do this through prayer, the reading of scripture and being in community with other men. This is a great place to start and where Generational Dads comes in. Our goal, especially within our small group study, is to provide men with community and practices that will hopefully help them to draw nearer to God. I’m praying for whoever is reading this that you would have an understanding of God’s wonderful grace upon you, and a God-given humility to put in the work to become a better dad and husband each day.
